"Help! I need more hours in my day!"
In response to this cry and the supermom syndrome in 1982, Emilie Barnes wrote a book called More Hours in My Day (Harvest House Publishers), which launched her career in time management. Twenty-one years and 60 books later, Barnes continues to teach organizational skills to families.
Family time management is even more important today. Typically, when the house is a mess and the kids need a ride to soccer, the last thing we do is sit down together for a meal.
"Fast food is the norm," says Barnes. "Most people eat with their fingers at every meal." For families caught up in the rush, "Manners, financial responsibility, and organizational skills are not being taught at home," she adds. This lifestyle is stressful.
"When the burden gets too heavy and something has to go, it is not the house or the job laying on the floor, it is often our precious children," she says.
How can parents prevent burnout and invest in family? Kim and Tim Chamberlin make a focused effort to spend time with their children, Shelea (11) and Jakob (9).
"Limiting organized sports and scheduling family time shows the children family life is a priority," says Kim Chamberlin. "We all enjoy playing games, going to the library, and roller blading."
Money management is something the Chamberlins teach too.
"The children have a good sense of what things cost and can analyse their spending habits. We use a log book to record their allowances," says Chamberlin. "Ten dollars a week is 'deposited' into their log and all purchases are recorded. When they have to use their money to replace carelessly lost items, such as mittens, I notice the difference in how they care for personal belongings."
Barnes offers more smart family investment tips in her recent book Survival for Busy Women (Harvest House).
The Special Red Plate: Choose a unique dinner plate to honour a family member. The plate signals it's their special day. At the meal, everyone takes a turn to somehow honour them. The Barnes' have a red plate inscribed, "You are Special Today." They also take a photo and keep it in a red album - a family heirloom.
"I Love You Because" Cards: Taking the time to give someone a card that says, "I love you because ... you have a smile on your face when you come to the breakfast table each day" is an excellent esteem-builder - with adults too! Tucked into lunch bags, they're delightful surprises.
I Was Caught Being Good: Barnes particularly enjoys this with her grandchildren. "They know they'll receive a sticker every time they're 'caught' helping someone." She has watched children who practice this grow to become kind adults.
Money Management: While children are very young, let them manage their money. Barnes explains, lessons learned are gentler at a young age. When her children were older and showed responsibility, she found unique ways to give bonuses. "Everyone took turns doing the dishes, so once in awhile I would take all my change and slip it into the sink filled with suds. It made dish-washing fun ... they never knew when I would do it," says Barnes.
Saved by the Bell: Set a kitchen timer so your child knows there are 10 more minutes of play before bed."
Yogurt Run: When the children have just been tucked in for the night, yell "Yogurt Run!" Barnes says, "Our children never knew when to expect it. Make it a break from the normal routine and take them out in their jammies. Our children still remember those fun times."
The bottom line for families and for our communities is simple, according to Barnes.
"Investing in the lives of children is important in laying a solid foundation for the next generation."
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